It is very easy to judge another’s life and choices. But until you stand in their shoes, you know nothing of their life, trials or tribulations.
Anytime I read or watch a story of adversity I ask myself: Would I have made it through?
I have lived through a malicious campaign designed to crush my spirit and my life. I made it through because of God.
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Many, many times, I did not think I would make it through. I made it through because of my spiritual practice and my spiritual teacher and a small handful of people who showed me love, care, compassion, and true support at very critical times. There were many who were malicious and mean, and enjoyed it. Even now, as you can see….I have to keep shifting my focus back to gratitude for all the people who were there, who did show up with care, and who answered my call before I had even asked. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. You know who you are. God Bless You, Always.
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I have been deeply, deeply hurt by the actions of someone or someone(s) who enrolled others and mounted a smear campaign against me. It was a campaign of harassment that went on for years: Before the pandemic, during the pandemic when I chose to remain unvaxxed, and after the pandemic when I attempted to bring the book I was writing to market.
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I have had to take my focus away from those who became bullies, who took incredible pleasure from my pain, who weaponized my vulnerabilities and wounds, who dismissed my ‘stories’ of what was happening as ‘unhinged’ or ‘hallucinations’ and questioned my sanity (this was part of the plan), who relished reminding me of my increasingly diminished financial resources, and what a failure they thought I was. It still continues today with little jabs here and there by people I don’t even know. Strangers who appear well-versed in my story. Perhaps they have been prepped.
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I fled a situation in Toronto that was not safe. I was a target of someone’s ill and malicious intentions and they had enrolled a posse. I left with nothing. I had barely anyone to turn to and those I would have so naturally turned to and counted on for love, comfort and support were nowhere to be found. If I set out chapter and verse of all the many things that were said and done to me over many years, I would ask you: How would YOU have survived? Would You have made it through?
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I have begun a memoir and I have written a dark comedy. I wrote the first draft of a dark comedy as catharsis. Writing is catharsis. I wrote a comedy because what was said and what happened was so inconceivable and painful and hurtful and downright bizarre that only humor could translate it with intelligence. I wrote it in two weeks. I was so happy. I had sat frozen for years in front of the blank (Final Draft ) screenwriting page unable to write about what had caused me enormous pain. Unable to put the story together. Finally, I did. Finally, it poured out.
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The gist of it: I felt wrongly accused and hated. Imagine: Johnnie Stecchino meets Frances Farmer meets Michael Clayton meets The Shining.
When I confronted certain people and asked if they had been involved, they said NO. They did nothing… only.. maybe, gossiped. Well, there is gossip and then there is gossip. I wish I had asked them who they had gossiped to or with…. Because someone in their midst had enough power to try to ruin my reputation and destroy my life. And the ultimate destruction I believe was the destruction of my loving bond to family. Someone’s scheme was intended to place me in a situation that mirrored what happened to the Jews during the Holocaust or any person of color, religion, race or heritage wrongly persecuted at any time in history. I was to experience profound loss, humiliation, shame – name your misery.
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I could have gone to the police. I could have retained a lawyer. I could have tried to mount an investigation. I still think about it. I may still do so. Because what happened to me should never have happened to anyone. I have always wanted to write a legal drama. I just never thought I would be writing my own.
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However, instead, I turned to my spiritual practice. Forgiveness and peacemaking. I turned to my spiritual teacher, Howard Wills, who was unreservedly there for me, by text or phone. I practiced – like my life depended on it – everything he teaches. Because my life DID depend on it. I survived because of God, the work of Howard Wills and my own determination, heart and persistence.
~ Christiane Schull – Sept 20, 2026
