I stood over a table covered in family photos. Looking through them quickly, deciding what I was keeping, storing, letting go, and how to manage this large storehouse of memorabilia.
Then I came upon this photo.
A photo I don’t remember ever seeing before; a photo of my mother as a young woman with her arm through the arm of my grandmother, my father’s mother, my godmother, standing under an apple tree.
A feeling swept over me and the words: Remember Love.
I stopped, pulled up a chair, sat down and stared at the photo. I could feel my heart opening, opening, opening. Tears fell down my cheeks. I was awash in love and the remembrance of love.
I looked at the apple tree. Those burnished red almost purple apples. It must have been from our backyard. Yes, I think it was behind our house. I can see our backyard now. My mother – so full of spirit, love and humour – and that dress! She had great taste. My grandmother — was sweet and gentle. I hadn’t thought of my grandmother in years; she died when I was nine years old. I stared at my mother and grandmother. Sweetness, strength, and love. I could feel their love, sweetness, and strength rise up in me.
My grandmother had taught me sign language when I was a child; not that I have any recall of it today. I had always felt my grandmother was my guardian angel, one of many guardian angels throughout my life.
Perhaps she had heard my call.
Because here she was with my mother in this photo and I had prayed weeks before to my mother to come visit all of us.
My mother died too soon.
Like my father dying when we were all, far far too young.
Remember Love.
Yes, yes, it is true. I had forgotten. I had forgotten.
It is so easy to forget. Life can hurt you and whittle your heart down to nothing.
It’s easy to forget.
Remember Love.
I remember Love.
~ Christiane Schull